Dumb Things People Say To Owners Of Classic Cars

I have been driving classic cars since I was 19 years old. My first car was a 1960 FB Holden, I then bought a 1957 Chrysler Royal, a 1965 Valiant and now I drive a 1964 Austin Healey.

Unlike most people, I don’t leave it in the garage all week and pull it out on the weekend. I drive my car everyday. Almost every time in get in or out of the car somebody engages me on conversation. Sadly most of these interactions are frivolous chit chat by people who have nothing to say but for some strange reason feel they need to say something.

The following is a list of dumb things people say to classic car drivers.
1) “Is it original” – original what? Tyres, spark plugs,interior, engine? What do you mean? Do you even know what you are talking about. I don’t even know what you are talking about. The word original is highly subjective. If you mean to ask if it is modified then I think you could just use your eyes and decided for yourself. The reality is that you have nothing to say and that this is the best you can come up with so as to sound half intelligent, sadly you sound like an idiot.
2) “How many times has it been around the clock” – Seriously! The car is fifty years old, how could I possibly know this.
3) “My dad had one just like this”- well clearly you and the other half a million people who had the financial means to buy a vehicle like this must be very special. The fact you have been in a car like this and knew someone who owned one means that you and I will be friends forever.
4) “Can you still buy fuel for it” – No, I just pushed it here
5) “what year is it” – 2014 idiot
6) “Have you owned it since new”- Now I want to slap you because clearly you can’t do maths if you think I am old enough to own a car this old when it was brand new.
7) “They Don’t Make Em Like That Anymore” – I have nothing to say here except ….obviously.
8) “Can You Still Buy Parts” – No, you can’t. Basically if a fan belt goes the car is junked in two minutes. I’m just living on a wing and a prayer.